The Tamil Gounder community has a series of pre and post-wedding ceremonial rituals in their three day wedding ceremony. Porutham parthal is one of the first steps before moving an alliance forward in a Tamil Gounder wedding.
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Horoscope Match
\nPorutham parthal in Tamil means checking the compatibility of both the groom-to-be and bride-to-be by looking into their respective horoscopes. The boy and girl’s horoscopes are matched to see if there is compatibility in ten to twelve critical aspects - birth, strength, family, personality, age, attachment, compassion, humility, wealth and knowledge.
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Reading the Stars
Horoscope matching is done (mostly by a reverent astrologer or elder who has experience in horoscope reading) in order to ensure that the stars of both individuals entering into marriage are a suitable match for each other and do not overlap bad phases in their lifetime. This is particularly important as it is believed that the birth star of the husband has an impact on his wife’s life and vice versa. Most divorces happen when both the man and woman have bad phases at the same time which forces them to take a decision against the marriage.
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What’s Needed for Porutham Parthal
\nThe date and time of the birth of the groom-to-be and bride-to-be are sufficient to start the Porutham process. Other factors that play a critical role in matching and fixing an alliance are economic and social status of the family, financial stability, earning and education.
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\nIf the horoscopes are a clear match and both families are satisfied with each other, porutham parthal is complete and Sagunam Parthal is the next step.
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Once the Porutham parthal is complete (potential bride and groom’s horoscopes are mutually exchanged, matched and consented), the next pre wedding step is Sagunam Parthal(Looking out for good omens). Gounder weddings give great importance to favourable omens to move forward with the next steps towards the wedding.
\n\nSignificance of Sagunam Parthal in Tamil Gounder Weddings
\nIn Sagunam Parthal, both the bride and groom families visit the Kuladheivam (ancestral deity) temple and seek guidance from the good omens in the temple. Flowers are kept in front of the 'Deivam' (God) and they look for good omens. Only if there are positive signs, the alliance will be continued otherwise it is ended then and there.
Good Omens: Movement of flower or garland, the sound of lizards from the right or overhead, hearing a musical instrument and seeing a good blaze of fire.
Bad Omens: A black cat running or jumping, screaming sounds, sneezing, whirlwind and drops of rain.
Family Visits
\nIf the omens are good and positive, then there will be mutual visits to the bride and the groom’s house to check and evaluate all the aspects related to marriage. The bridegroom’s family and close relatives will visit the bride’s house to interact with the family and to mutually agree for the wedding. Later, the bride’s family and close relatives also visit the groom’s house mainly to see the house in which the bride will live and interact with the members of the family, especially the elders. Once both parties are convinced, they will move ahead to perform the Nichayadhaartham.
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Pre-wedding rites is the next step in Gounder weddings after Sagunam parthal. The traditions followed in a Tamil Gounder wedding is based on the old Sangam way. In marriages which follow the Sangam period, the holy fire or Agni Kundam is not kept and Vedic hymns are not chanted.
\n\nWedding Performed by Elders in the Kongu Community Tamil Gounder
\nThe marriage is a three-day affair and the relatives volunteer to help in work related to the wedding which shows the strong love and affection the community has for one another. The Tamil Hindu Gounder marriage is conducted by the Kongu Vellalar community elders called ‘Arumaikaarar’ and ‘Arumakaari’ who have the deepest knowledge of the Kongu history and are well respected in the community.
A pandal is put up which shows that a marriage is going to be held and many events like the Pariyam Idudhal, Nichayadhaartham, Kulam Kodhudhal, etc are some of the pre-wedding events.
\n\nCommunities and People Involved in a Kongu Wedding Ritual
Navidhar: The Navidhar who is a barber is another key person in the Gounder community wedding rituals, he is also referred to as the ‘Kudimagan’ (local). He invites the families, sings the Mangala Vaazhthu (auspicious ballad) and does the groom’s hair before the marriage.
Kammaalar: The wood for fire and boxes for the Madaikalam Vaithal(storing for the rainy season) is provided by the Kammaalar, the wood artisans. Traditionally, the Kammaalars are the artisans who make the agricultural tools for the Gounder community.
Vannaan: The pandal(marquee) or mandabam is raised by the vannaan(washerman). He decorates it with colourful sarees and half sarees.
Paraiyar: The musical treat for the wedding is by the paraiyars. They are musicians who play on large traditional drums adding rhythm to the wedding.
Vetkovar: The earthen pots are made especially for the wedding rituals by the vetkover (potter).
Maadhaari: The maadhaaris are cobblers who craft a new pair of footwear for the groom and bride.
Pandaaram: In the early days the pandaarams (caterers) would lead the wedding prayers but nowadays they are restricted to just catering food for the wedding.
Once the bride and groom families decide on the marriage they consult their respective family priests to look for an auspicious day for Nichayadhaartham Ritual (Gounder Engagement Rituals). On the selected day, the bridegroom’s family, relatives, and friends go to the bride’s house. During this function, both parties sit opposite to each other and discuss details of the marriage. A plate with flowers mostly strands of jasmine, fruits mostly two bananas with their stem attached, areca nut, and betel leaves are placed between them to start the discussion.
\n\nProcedure for Nichayadhaartham in Tamil Gounder Wedding
\nThe elders in the groom's family or his parents request the bride’s family to accept the marriage proposal and the bride’s parents give their consent. Once the oral acceptance is done, both the families exchange plates containing fruits, betel leaves and areca nut as confirmation of the Nichayadhaartham in a Tamil wedding.
The groom’s family presents the bride a saree. The bride takes the blessings of the groom’s parents, accepts the saree and changes into the Nichayadhaartham saree. Once in the new saree, the bride takes the blessings of all the elders present. The parents of both the bride and groom sit together and fix an auspicious date, time and venue for the marriage after consulting with the priest. The bride’s family will then host a lavish feast known as the ‘parupanchotru virundhu’ (dhal rice feast) for the groom’s party.
\n\nDue to any reason, if the marriage is not confirmed and the date is not fixed, the groom’s family will not accept the food. The groom’s family by enjoying the feast confirm their consent to the marriage.
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Much like the other communities, the Lagna Patrika in Tamil means a traditional marriage invitation card which is given in-person to close relatives. In the earlier days, the wedding used to be conducted only at the bride’s place and hence only close family and community members used to be invited. Traditionally, the invitation cards were distributed by the Kudimagan (citizen) who represents the bride or the groom’s family to extend an invitation on behalf of them.
\n\nThe Importance of Lagna Patrika (Wedding Invite) in a Tamil Gounder Wedding
\nEarlier, families considered it a great honour and prestige if the wedding invitation was handed to them. The Kudimagan would tell the number of people expected to attend from the invited families. Also, those who did not receive the cards would not attend it and even choose to boycott the wedding. The Kudimagan played an important role in marriages, even if the bride or the groom’s family personally invite, guests would not go for the wedding unless invited by the Kudimagan.
The Changing Scenes in Tamil Gounder Weddings
\nHowever, the recent times we see invites flying out to friends, neighbours and other people who are not part of the Kongu community, hence the role of the Kudimagan has become less significant. This has also expanded the invitee’s list for the wedding and hence for the want of more space, weddings are being conducted in marriage halls.
The traditional way of extending invitations in Gounder weddings has now changed and these days cards are printed and sent by courier or posts. Only close relatives and friends are personally handed wedding cards, others are called by using mobile phones, or sent the invite by post or through email. Moreover, there is no way to know how many from a family will attend the marriage and makes it difficult to manage the guests unlike in olden days when the Kudimagan used to get a count.
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The Tamil Kongu Vellalar kalyanam (wedding) is celebrated for three consecutive days. Here we can find a brief about what happens on those three days of the wedding.
\n\nThe Three day Wedding Rituals in Tamil Gounder Weddings
Day 1
Naal Virundhu: It is the first day of marriage - a feast is hosted by the immediate relatives (cousins, uncles, aunts and grandparents) of the bride and groom. This is especially for the bride and groom families to celebrate the wedding and also create a friendly atmosphere between the immediate relatives of both sides.
Day 2
\nThis is the second day of the wedding and the Gounder community being a close-knit group offers to help the bride’s family on marriage-related work before and while the wedding is taking place. They help in marriage arrangements such as the erection of the pandal (temporary shed), hairdressing of the bridegroom by the Kudimagan (Barber), and a formal wedding announcement by beating the drums takes place. The drum beating in the earlier days was done by the Kudimagan who would walk through the village making the announcement to all. Nowadays this kind of announcement is hardly in place. It still exists in some villages but the urban crowd doesn’t practice it anymore.
Muhurtha Kaal: The bride’s relatives make arrangements for the wedding like constructing and decorating the muhurtha pandal, cutting firewood and cooking. The Muhurtha Kaal (pandal) is erected by three Arumaikaarars (Kongu Vellalar community elders) with the help of the Vannaan (washerman). This indicates that the wedding ceremony will take place the next day. Loud music by the Paraiyars (musicians) adds a festive feel to the day.
\n\nDay 3
Muhurtham: The third day has the most important wedding rituals for the Tamil Gounder community. The bride and the groom will wear traditional dresses and perform the core ceremony sitting on a platform. The groom will tie the thali or the Mangalya around the neck of the bride, Mangala Vadyams (auspicious musical instruments) are played by paraiyars (people from the paraiya section of the community who play rhythmic beats on their traditional large drums) during the thali tying ceremony. The music by the paraiyars ensures that each and every person attending the wedding ceremony is involved in the happenings at the wedding especially during the muhurtham.
Then, the newlyweds exchange garlands which complete the wedding rituals. Many marriage rites like the Tharai Varthal (a father handing over his daughter by pouring water thereby transferring the rights of taking care of her to her newly-wed husband), Kaappu, etc.
\n\nA Kalyana Virundhu (wedding feast) which is a lavish vegetarian feast on plantain leaves is served to all the guests after the Kongu wedding rituals.
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Mangala Vaazhthu is a very special wedding song that is recited during all Kongu Vellalar Gounder weddings and is one of the age-old traditional wedding rituals.
\n\nSignificance Of The Song
\nThis song was written by the great poet Kambar and it details all the events that take place during the wedding in the correct sequence. The song is composed in such a way as if each wedding is that of a King and Queen. Each and every word penned in this song describes the stature, lifestyle and culture of the Kongu Vellalar community. The song also blesses the newlywed couple with a lifetime of wealth and prosperity.
What’s Done During the Mangala Vaazhthu Song in Tamil Gounder Weddings
\nA large heap of rice is placed. The bridegroom and the brother of the bride hold their hands under the rice heap. The Mangala Vaazhthu song is sung during this time. In some Tamil Kalyanam (wedding) rituals, the relatives recite the song during the Enaicheer (pairing) function too.
A Little Flashback
\nIt is believed that a huge flood was creating havoc on the banks of the river Cauvery. When people approached Kulothunga Chola who was the King then, he said that Cauvery would obey the words of a noble poet. The great poet Kambar then composed songs and sang them day and night till it stopped the flooding. To appreciate Kambar, the king ordered that the marriage donations (money given by well-wishers for the bride and groom) be given to Kambar. In exchange for the donation, the poet composed the Mangala Vaazhthu song.
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The Kongu Vellalar Gounder community has a rich history as they are known to be the descendants of proud warriors who were engaged in battles during the Chera and Chola reign in South India. They are a group who follow family traditions and take their responsibilities very seriously. They have very interesting age old Tamil wedding traditions, which bring the whole family together and provide great support for the new couple. All traditions and ceremonies followed during the three-day-long wedding instill a sense of close bonding and deep-rooted affection between both families.
\n\nSignificance of Aarathi Eduthal in Tamil Gounder Wedding
\nAs an auspicious start to the bride’s life in her new home, Aarathi Eduthal is a Kongu Vellalar Gounder marriage procedure in Tamil Nadu. This takes place just before she steps into her home for the rest of her life. Her mother in law or any other elderly female family member holds out a lamp of light and blesses her. This is a symbol of new hope and wonderful beginnings in her husband’s home.
What Happens During the Aarathi Eduthal Ritual
\nA lamp is placed artistically on a plate made of copper, bronze or silver and represents a strong foundation for their new life. The lamp can be made of clay, or even metal and is filled with ghee or oil. It represents the joy and protection she will find in her new home. Cotton wicks are arranged in odd numbers and lit to produce a beautiful Diya (Light). There is also some camphor which the mother in law lights as the couple enter the house. A mixture of turmeric and limestone solution, red in colour, is also placed on the Aarathi plate. This is yet another act that blesses the fusion of two souls to begin a unique journey.
This Aarathi plate, once lit, is moved in a circular motion, both clockwise and anti-clockwise, three times around the newly wed couple. This symbolises blessings and removal of any negative energy that may surround the couple. They are then led inside the house, ready to receive the blessings of the elders in the groom's family.
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\nNo wedding ceremony is complete without a grand meal. Most of the time, the meals served are an important reminder of the community and the customs associated with the wedding.
Kongu Naadu Cuisine
\nKongu Naadu Cuisine is mostly South Indian and has its strong base with rice as the main ingredient. There are many exotic and mouthwatering recipes that are specifically created by people living in that region. Most of the time, the food is served on a banana leaf. As is the custom with many Indian weddings, eating on a banana leaf adds both nutrition and taste to the food that is served.
Dishes & Delicacies of Kalyana Virundhu in Tamil Gounder Weddings
\nSome of the popular Kongu Naadu dishes include Idly, Dosa, Appam and Paniyaram. One of the best parts about Kongu cuisine is that the ingredients used to prepare the dishes does not require marination. Therefore, the food prepared is fresh, tasty and healthy too. Turmeric is one of the most common ingredients due to its coloring as well as antibacterial properties.
Arisi Paruppu Sadam is a simple dish that is made using rice and dal. This dish is very unique to the Kongu Nadu Cuisine. Kaalaan is the spiced mushroom dish which is made by frying mushrooms and adding them to the broth. The broth is made of onions, coriander and other spices. Oppittu is a dessert with rice, dal, ghee and cardamom.
\n\nKalyana virundhu is a real feast in the Gounder wedding typical to the popular ‘Kalyana Samayal Saatham’ song in ‘Mayabazaar’ movie. It is the apt ending to the wedding rituals where people eat heartily and bless the couple for a wonderful life together!
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